Whose life is it anyway?

 

Don’t expect me to exceed expectations

To Something you know I will never meet.

 

-Radika Deane

The Sea

 

The sea is made of blood

The sea is full of blood

The sea is blood.

–Radika Deane 

Best of Both Worlds

 

When I am given 14 days to myself I don’t usually run off…actually I do. Before returning to school, the place known for regional integration, the so called euphoria, I see the need to indulge in feelings and thoughts that I kept trapped for an entire semester.  As I lay on my rented bed, with the smell of weed permeating the air, I reminisce on all I have done; the good, the bad, the ugly, refusing to make any apologies because the things I have said and done are no mistake.

So what do I do now? It’s a question I ask myself. Do I sit and watch Disney Channel, do I work on my To-Do list, do I get a head start on summer school or do I re-evaluate my life?

Success is a given, happiness is not. Do I sacrifice one to achieve the other just like the basic principles of economics or can I have my cake and eat it?

My best friend said to me the other day as we discussed success and happiness, “you either move on with life or you continue coping the way you are but we both know that at the end of the day you would not be happy”. I am still deciding.

I generally think success looks like First Lady Michele Obama, my Hon. Prime Minister Dr Ralph Gonsalves, and The Iron Lady but when I indulge in visual thoughts of success I see William Shakespeare, Audrey Hepburn and even the sometimes misconstrued Marilyn Monroe.

Success may have a dictionary meaning but it does not fit us all. Success must be defined by each individual. Success should be happiness but this still does not create definition, different things make different people happy and I am deciding what makes me truly happy.

Am I going to be that woman that goes by the saying “Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him to fish, feed him for life.”  Or am I going to choose to be the woman that says “Sell a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.”  I may still be deciding on a lot of things but I know I am choosing both ways to live, kind hearted but not naïve.

I may anger people throughout my life and they may return me the favour but I have learned to never burn bridges, I am a future Politician and I may need to cross those bridges again one day.

Success?  First Lady Michele Obama, my Hon. Prime Minister Dr Ralph Gonsalves, The Iron Lady, William Shakespeare, Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe and Radika Deane. My motivation comes from everything and anything, even that smell of weed in the air coming from my neighbour’s, it is up to me to be motivated in all the right ways.

Happiness? It is truly the key to success. I can have my cake and eat it too, you’ll see.

 

-Radika Deane

MEDITATIONS

5 hours of purity
Then I go back into reality
Meditations
It troubles me
It taunts me
Should it even bother me..
I close my eyes but all I see is
the truth that lies within me
Overstanding the feeling
But still trying to find the meaning
Behind it
Mediations
Should I have question marks
Or should I ask..
God?
Does he really love me?
She keeps me sane
He is a main..
Reason why I laugh
Is it enough?
Am I loving in vain
Putting up with the pain..
Time to stop
I’m not giving up
I’ve just had enough of the strain
I don’t deserve this
Meditations.

                                               

–Radika Deane